only in the philippines

it's a wow a country...a wow country!

o oh, whoahoh whoh oh! ayan lang naman ang mga gusto kong puntahan this summer. nice noh? and di naman masyado mataas pangarap ko, kaya within the boundary of the philippines nalang.

may napanood ako nung minsan- a child who drew his dream house and posted it on the wall. they were so poor then (poor pa saken). [he said] just by looking at the picture, it inspires him more to achieve it... so he drew all his dreams. and now, he is a big boss who is living in his dream palace... happy noh?

so gumagaya ako ngayon. baka sakaling sa kakatingin ko sa blog ko, eh maisakatuparan ko rin. hmmmn. i really really wanna travel. gusto kong puntahan ang mga yan. mga 2week trip, pwede na! woohoo! kaso nga lang, pangarap lang yan. mahirap ang maging mahirap! but i must be positive. i am here to witness her beauty. wish ko lang, matupad toh bago man lang ako machugi. ung iba eh, gusto ko lang ulit-ulitin. hmmmnn.

to pichay: pangarap mo rin bang tuparin ang mga pangarap ko? sana...

summit book reviews...

vince's life
two thumbs up for this super romantic novel. a true [love] story of vince in his college years with his friends, and yes with andrea. not like the typical one, they both part ways after graduation. but there is a part two! and i've been searching for that. do you know where to get one? everyone can relate to his story.
c/o kim aquino

who stole my magic?
"show me a woman who has never had her heart broken

and i'll show you a woman who has never really lived."

breakup? it's not impossible to overcome. this book is made up of words that would surely help you get through. it made me realize that there are endless possibilities out there, if only you'll give yourself a chance to see what the world has for you.
c/o kath lumanlan

have baby, will date
party goer and happy-go-lucky had a change of destiny. she is a single parent who doesn't want any help from the father of her pretty child. but she can't deny it to herself that this man is really a hunk. as always, they end up together living with their happy family.
c/o jacq tan

the breakup diaries
been turned down? survive a heartache. learn to let go. someone's waiting for you. sabi nga, "someone is in deeper pain of not having you".

c/o sarah sambat

between dinner and the morning after
"find a man who is more inlove with you than you are with him. this way he will never leave you." i'm still not finish with this. pero i recommend this one for all those who are torned between two lovers. it's like mr. right is here but then again, destiny plays with you and brings former lover infront of you. sure, you can't have both, so make the shrewdest decision ever. i always say this one, "on my part, old flames can never be rekindled". hmmnn, panindigan! aha.
c/o lean liwanag

drama queen

for theater actors and naughty ones. hehe. learn the moves.

smooches on the backstage, cr, anywhere! so sexy! haha.
c/o tayne indionco

those are all the books that i read and enjoyed from summitbooks. and take note, lahat nyan hiniram ko lang. but i'm desperate to have my own copies too. these books are best for your daily dullness this summer...

way to go. i'm still in search for all these contemporary books from summit media:

• No Boyfriend Since Birth
• Wander Girl
• Tough Love
• Mr. Write
• Almost Married
• Vince's Life 2

*movie review naman minsan.

first love never dies

i was viewing somebody else's friendster account when i saw "his". we're good friends now, but not bestfriends as we used to be in the past four years. you may probably guess why. uhm. totoo nga kaya un? like me, u also had your first love, right? not the puppy love ah. uhm. i'll tell you something...i am 100% sure that i am in love with my man now. and i've been faithful to him. pero when i saw "his" (first love) pictures with "his" girl friends...aaaawwww...i got jealous. really. i don't know. dati kasi nung magbest friends pa kame, ganyan din, selosan sa mga opposite sex na kaclose. pero w/o malice yon (or am i just kidding myself then?). maybe i just miss him. our lively conversations over the phone, corny jokes, and the care he has given to me. sweet :] oh men! maybe i just see him as my brother and i am his little sister who gets a little jealous with his new friends. it's not like him kasi, he is a party animal now - meeting all the barbies in the city. he's a grown up man. im happy for him. it's just that i miss my long lost bud. anyway, that could be my own verdict, first love doesn't die a natural death. it still sees. it cares. agree?

addict

what's keeping me busy? my answer... FULL HOUSE! haha. i llllllllllloooooovvvvvveeee this talaga. song hye kyo (jesi) is my favorite artist. i'd like to go to Korea and meet her. kahit ilan times ko na napanood toh, di nakakasawa. kaso sabi ni mama, one episode a day lang. haha. hanggang ngayong gusto ko parin magkaroon ng copy. dream house ko na tuloy yung fullhouse. ehe =p who wouldn't want anyway? ganda!

..and kung tearjerker hanap niyo, WONDERFUL LIFE lang yan. shox! the best din toh. and if im not mistaken, ung girl sa fullhouse, si loraine, kasama din sa love square sa wonderful life (cynthia). tapos ung dad ata ni justin, dad din ni daniel. ewan. magkamukha eh, haha. anyhoo, ipapanood ko toh sa mga magiging anak ko. am not kidding, i even bought a copy of this. super, mga 9X ko na rin inulit toh. pati sina mama naiyak. grabeh., pampamilya! haha. i also love the child here, si janin (jeong da bin). cute nya.

i wanna teach english nga pala sa mga koreanong nagkalat sa pinas. why? kasi likewise, i want to learn their language din. haha. my kuya has been in this business last year, kinukuha ko nga mga students niya, kaso nag-fly away na daw. hmp. and if ever, underpaid na naman ako. nako ah. ever since, lagi nalang akong underpaid. magkano na ba minimum wage? lam ko around p283. hai. ate, abuso na ginagawa mo sakin ah? hehe. speaking of financial drawback, sana magbigay ng scholarship si lola sa mga mababait niyang apo. kahit allowance man lang ngayong bakasyon. ehe. hai!!! ano ba toh, galing ko sumeg-way noh? ehehe.

take my hand

it's my cousin's wedding! "kuya aris, ang pin?!" haha. natawa ako sa kapalpakan ko. pero atleast, mahaba-habang exposure. hehe. kay ate josel and kuya jothan, best wishes (pati ako naiyak). i hope, you two will learn and grow from your mistakes. take care of my sophia! ;)

hai... wanna get married too, not now siyempre. ramdam ko talaga yung happiness ng mga kinakasal. i hope God will give me the best groom in the world! i know He will. and swear, i'll be the best wife and mother to my husband and children. and then i will be the happiest person living in the earth. whoooh! sarap ng feeling!!!

will i ever find the right one? will i ever be loved unconditionally by a mortal? and... will he ever see me the way i do? my God! i'm giving you the pen. ehehe.

can they still be friends?

♪ let's admit we made a mistake,
but can we still be friends?

heartbreak's never easy to take,

but can we still be friends?
it's a strange, sad affair

sometimes seems like we just don't care

don't waste time feeling hurt

we've been through hell together

.

(going back to 4.11 entry...)

forgiveness is what she wanted for so long. she had forgiven him, so why can't he? i see no logic. he had hurt her as well.

her

goodnight... i'll call you again tomorrow.

him

don't call!!

her

i'm sorry... bye

.

good thing, this girl was given so much patience. the next day, as she promised him...

her

hello?

him

ano na naman?! umagang umaga!!!

her

1pm na po... kain ka na ha. tawag ako ulit. bye
.

that night it was him who called her. he's asking her out. confused, she asked her why, "i thought you don't wanna see me again?". silence for a few seconds, then he said, "i just felt the need to talk to you, maybe i can forgive you. but this would be the last. i promise. we'll just see if we can now be friends". by 9:30pm, he's on the door.

her

tara!

him

o, saan ka pupunta? (he parked his car 9meters away)

her

sira ulo ka pa rin (laughs).

it's like nothing happened. their conversation was very casual. they talked about college life, friends, no intimate talks. she was happy seeing her ex without hatred. she knew [and prayed] that by the end of the night, she'll be forgiven. but she remembered her boyfriend, can he forgive her too? sigh.

.

meanwhile, her stomach could no longer hide the truth...

her

ui, burger machine oh. libre mo ko. go!

him

(laughs) iba nalang. dun kaya? ( pointing to an expensive resto)

her

yabang ka pa rin.

.

after they ate (forgot the place), he drove him home. feeling dizzy (it's almost midnight), they were both silent for a few minutes which was a strange thing. she almost fell asleep.

him

i have forgiven you

__shocked. really shocked. she wanted to cry. she'd been waiting for that the whole time they're together. that's all she wanted to hear from him. just that.__

her

i thought you would never forgive me. thank you.

him

maybe we can be friends after two years. i still need time to find myself. i'm not yet ready. but, like i've said, i'm not mad at you anymore. i shouldn't be anyway. i'm glad you're happy now.

her

thank you. so bye? hmmmnn... till we meet again after two years.ü ciao! =p

.

no sad goodbye, no tears, no pain, no guilt.

that's how the night ended. casual goodbye. it was as if they will meet again the next day. as if two years is almost over. but that's ok. atleast, they had forgiven each other now. this could be the happiest day for her. she believes that it wasn't just a chance they took, it's the answer to her prayer. she'll never regret this because there's a friendship that was saved, minds that had peace, and a broken heart that was fixed. most importantly, she knows that in her heart, there is someone she can never take away, and that's her boyfriend. she's not sure when and how he can forgive her, but she's willing to wait, like what she did with her ex. her boyfriend may not understand this now, but there's always a time for everything.

.

good morning.ü

strangers to friends and lovers. then back to strangers

as said in her previous post, she's been bearing this pain for a year...

.

well, after their breakup last year, as in their official breakup, she never let him enter her life in any way, ever. while her ex's life became miserable and all... he went to alaska for vacation and there he found nothing. i mean, for all i know, hopeless, helpless, lonely, and brokenhearted people who go abroad usually find solace. how could he anyway if he always calls her on the phone asking for another chance. and what the girl did? she pushed him away. she made him hate her. she asked him to get lost. and she gave him the news that would surely break his heart into pieces... "i am inlove with someone." whether it was true or one of her lies, he stepped out of her life. totally.

.

after a month, that "someone" she was talking about left her. yet, she sticked to her decision, she will never go back to her first boyfriend. it isn't her pride or what. it's the pain. the pain he had caused. she loved him so much, but she was taken for granted. she had no idea how is he doing. if he's fine, she doesn't care. if he's ill, she might even throw a party. that's how rude she was.

.

five more months, she had her 2nd boyfriend. she is happy with him. as their relationship goes stronger, she learned to forgive her ex. she realized that if it is not for him(ex), she wouldn't be this happy now. he let her go and she is very thankful for that. she is just looking for the right time to come. to have a reconcillation. it's been a year anyway...

.

soon, it was his ex's bday. she thought it would be the perfect time. she called him on the phone to greet him. his voice is still the same, but as he recognized her voice, he hung up. she still tried, called him again and begged him not to hang the phone. they talked about each other's mistakes. eager to make peace with him, she stayed calm despite his harshness. ..

.

...she said sorry...

.

.

sigh... till my next post :)

endurance

i really love this word. with it, i have experienced all these...

.

the big drops of rain. in my 10 month training as a basic cadet, i had encountered the complexities of rotc (not to mention the instant tanning, hmp). we have been taught a lot of things, like facing a war at an unexpexted time, even peace time. so what the hell are we thinking? it was our graduation day [held in an open space], and it was just a rain... funny but we continued the program despite our wet looks and all.

endured!

.

the pain i felt for almost a year. i want to have a peace of mind... this pain ive been bearing had really caused a wound in my heart that seems to stay forever. i am happy now, but there's this emptiness inside. i tried to hide it, but in silence, there is pain. and now, i have arrived to a decision, the need to reconcile. i need it. (see my next post)

endured!

.

the tension among his family. finally, i met them. paul's mom is very kind. they asked me to sit, and whoa! i wasn't informed it was a hot seat. his mom, dad, lola, and brother were all there staring at me and throwing questions and many questions... i wished there was a juice or water i could drink every after question so i would have enough time thinking of better answers.

endured!

gestalt

taken from gyk's deviations. she's so great.ü i love this art.
.

uhm...had a change of mind and chose this large size picture format instead. sayang naman space, and i want to see the whole - not just its parts and aspects. that's what i've learned in this gestalt principle. sometimes you have to step back and see the bigger picture. just like in arts, if you'll look closer on a painting, you won't appreciate its beauty because you'll see clearly the details of it which make it no sense. this also applies in man. for us to see the essence of an object, we have to see its totality as it is. we must first set aside our natural attitude (prejudice. biasness, judgments, perceptions, etc.) towards that object. hhhhmmmmnnn. from psychology to philosophy huh. hehe. i love these 2 subjects! sobrang brain teaser.

___

res novae

1. been busy learning the secrets of adobe. hehe. thanks to gyk and kuya mike for the patience

2. continuing what the book, Purpose Driven Life, has taught me

3. just finished the movie we rented, Herbie

4. changed my bad side of putting my foot on someone's face while sleeping (paul's sleeping in the salas right now)

i am super

i am perfectly happy. my secret? DON"T BE BITTER. life is too short to be angry and cynical. such negative emotions have a habit of making people seem hard and unattractive. who wants to spend time with a person who is constantly complaining or criticizing or jumping to the worst conclusions about others - boyfriend/girlfriend, friends, family, even strangers?isn't refreshing to be with someone who radiates warmth and happiness?..

(such thought was taken from the book im currently reading, "who stole my magic?")

i'm not saying that never in my life have i felt anger. i did. what i am trying to convince here is that the mere fact you're saying you're not happy with what you have whether sort of insecurities or what, you are actually killing the joys you're supposed to have. think of the innocent people whom you're hurting unintentionally. when the time comes that they get tired of you, regrets won't make them back.

___

lei's debut party

what adds up? my friends. crazy friends. i love being around with real people.

"alone but not lonely"

(long post)

i came as early as 7.20 am at AUF to take a special test in rotc. after we finished the exam, i made an appointment with my groupmates in bio. we did the film review for two hours of walking (looking for the vcd) and eating. after that, we received a text msg from euj informing usthat the deadline for the submission of the film review was moved. ang sweet ni sir! ehehe. then my journey alone begun...

.

8:30am. school

me

what time tayo meet? --message sent--

paul

ikaw? after lunch gusto mo? 12.30

me

ok.

.

10:12 am. int shop

nasya

sino kasama mo maglulunch? lapit na tayo matapos.

me

(facing the monitor) ewan. uhm. uhm. pakitext si paul. pakisabi lunch ako sa kanila.

nasya

ok. uhm uhm. here. paul replied "di pwede, wala tao sa bahay. libre nalang kita sa sm?"

(everybody now "oooooohhhh how sad..")

wigi

that's the point nga eh.

(laughs)

.

10:48am

lhey

ui alis na ko. padental cleaning pa ko

.

11:03am

nasya

balik ako ah. hintay nako dentist ko

.

11.15am. highway

wigi

tara shey! take home nalang toh. wanna go home

me

ok let's go.. uhm g? san ako sasakay papuntang sm?

wigi

ayan pandan. sakay na, tapos bababa ka sa terminal. bye... ingat

.

11:50am. sm_kfc

oorder ba ko hinde? kung pipila ako, malamang kaorder ko, wala na ko chair and i have to ask for somebody to share his table with me. dyahe yon. lipat, lipat

.

11:29am. _dunkin donuts

paul texted me and asked where am i. i pretended i'm not here yet so he won't worry about me. facing the wall, i ate my lunch. all alone. i tried to finish my bunwich so when he comes, he won't see me that way.

it's 12:25, i stood outside the food chain and waited for him there. still haven't seen his shadow - no text, no call. 5 steps forward and i grabbed a book just infront dunkin donuts.

12:50, one blink, heavy tears would fall. i looked up. then it falls down. as i wiped my tears. i saw him looking at me. i smiled.

.

"i thought you'll never come."

"i saw you walked down there. i saw you grabbed a book. i saw you looked up. i saw you cried."

.

.

aaaaawwww. senseless post huh? but it meant a lot.