mixed.

Good evening! =)(

Today is Friday and I still don’t know what I should be doing. There are things that I am supposed to do yet I’m idle for hours. I’ve been thinking kasi how to balance my time. No good kaya I’m still working on it. Many things are taken unserious and few things are highly well thought-out naman. Yun ang napansin kong problem ko. I tend to overlook things. Minsan yung focus ko masyadong malayo. Ever since kasi iba prinsipyo ko sa prinsipyo ng majority. May sariling mundo ba. =8

I got the results from my minor subjects and…nakakapanlambot. Happy naman sa majors pero hindi parin totally happy kasi nga naiisip ko yung minors.Hmmmn. Kahapon, my classmates and I reflected with the choice of career we are taking. Nakapagisip-isip kame, parang gusto naming mag-shift ng course. Naiisip kasi namen sophomore palang pero super fatigued na kame. What more pag nag-duduty na. Na-sa-psycho na rin ako! Tapos after grad swertihan lang. diba. Eh wala naman akong maisip na ibang course, Business Ad sigurado ako. Or MassComm. Bigla ko na naman kasing naalala yung quote na nabasa ko from a writer on a glossy magazine who was once an unhappy doctor of medicine student… “I really want to be a writer who heals, rather than being a healer who writes.”

Pero nung nagisip-isip ako ulit, I came to realize na it’s not all about the benefits and goods I would get from this profession. It’s more about saving LIFE. In a way, you’re following what God has obliged us to do/be: STEWARDS of His creation. Clap clap mga angels pag time mo na diba. It’s the passion to heal. Ibang klase rin yung rewards sa career na toh. It’s prizing with pride and happiness!

Anyway, may bagong bansag seatmate ko saken ngayon. PRICIPAL! Ang sungit ko daw sa boys. Aaawwwttsss. Nakakairita kasi minsan kakulitan nila. Pero mabait naman ako ah. Ayoko lang ng may nangungulet pag lecture discussion na. Sabi ko nga sakanya belong kasi ako sa mga “in-betweeners” (I am a company man… you can take this job and shove it.). Na-guilty ako ng slight don ah. Haha. Sakto kasi mangungulit sya pag super focused nako noh. Pero masungit daw talaga ako sabi nung isa na hindi ko naman seatmate. Hehe. Whatever.

Going back, siguro the least I can do [yet, the greatest] na dapat hindi ko binabaliwala is to PRAY. And everything else will follow. Sabi ko nga, in every way, there’s always a way. Ora et labora. =)

Light Of My Life

Sa dinami-dami ng paghihirap ko, walang katapusang sakripisyo, natutuwa pa rin ako. =) it reminds me that God still cares for me. He wants me to grow. So, lahat ng bad things na nangyayari sakin, all have their own significance in my life. Eventually, these will mold me to a better person He wanted me to become. =) kakatouch diba.

I fear God. He’s my best friend and true Father. He has the power to scare me. But that fear brings me closer to Him. I often ignore the bible before, but now, it has been my great companion. And the church became my Home. Ang gaan-gaan ng feeling pag nakakasama ko companion ko and pag umuuwi ako.

Last Sunday, while waiting for my friends, I went to the church to hear mass. Sanay akong mag-isa. Then I saw tok, palipat-lipat sya ng place. Tok, siya yung tambay sa side gate ng university main bldg. mentally illed sya. Pero nung nakita ko sya sa church, iba yung tok na nakita ko. Imagine, kahit may psychological disorder sya, nakakapgsimba siya. Eh ano nalang tawag sa mga hindi nagsisimba? Tinamaan ako don. God calls me all the time. Often times, I ignore and pretend I don’t hear Him. kaka-guilty noh. That was me then.

God is not the source of light... He is our light…

and it’s just a matter of seeing the light…