break

Sorry if I changed your url. I needed to be extra private. Anyway, I need your opinion on this. If you were a girl, put in a situation where your man makes you feel less important, put you on his least priority, contrary to what his words would speak. Well of course he’ll never get to admit these. To understand it more, here’s the storyline:

Her: I wanted to go somewhere else with him. We badly need time together. We’ve been busy with our paperwork the previous semester. I think we need some time to be together. Just the two of us… Just like what we had last year. We deserve it. It’s Christmas break and besides, it’s my birthday =) Well for the preparation, I’ve been searching the net for a good place. Of course, girls often do the planning. And I love that. I have a better liking on this matter than him =)

Him: Sure my friends wouldn’t mind if she’ll join us in our vacation. Anyway, she knows few of them. She can easily get along with them. Besides, we two have been planning for a getaway this Christmas break. I think she won’t mind if we’ll join them. That’s even practical.

Moving on… (Still assuming the girl’s role) So when the guy brought up this topic to you, you got pissed off by the idea. You argued on this until it went to a serious fight. He was thinking why it sounds so hard for you to be friends with his group. So he got mad as well. But you know what you wanted to happen. It turned out that all the while that you’re dreaming of you being together alone, he has his own, too. But not as oriented to your relationship as it was to you.

Having these thoughts in mind, how do you see their points of view? SPEAK.

worst things that could ever happen to a student...

1. CORRUPTED FILE!

submission of manuscript would be tomorrow. you've been working on it for hours. you skipped meals. ignored your cellphone. missed your favorite teleserye. all because you have to finish the manuscript! you checked on the time: four hours before your duty, enough time for a nap. you saved your file, double-checked if it is in compatibility mode. then closed it. but before you shut down your PC, you checked on it again to be sure it was saved properly. but as you opened it, a message appeared on your screen saying "the file has been corrupted"! your knees are shaking, and it felt like you wanted to faint. you saw the word HELP, you clicked on it and gave you instructions that could only be possibly understood by IT students. you wanted to cry, but you got no time for it. you had no choice but to sacrifice your nap and redo everything =(

2. NO MONEY.

it's monday and you're on your old routine again. ready for a one hell of a ride (i mean, the traffic), you rode a jeepney. made your self comfortable. put your bag on your lap. and ready to get six peso coins. you searched for your wallet, brought out your kikay kit, notebooks, papers, etc. but you found nothing. then you recalled. you changed your bag last night, bringing out all your things from bag A and transferring it to bag B. but before you finished doing the task, the phone rang and unluckily, it's your caller. after 5 minutes, you continued with your unfinished task. so after the flash back... you realized that you have not placed your wallet in bag B. so you struggle the shame of pleasing manong driver not to pay the fare for the 30 minute ride. but it does not end there, you'll have to ride two more jeepneys to reach your school! i just rode a tricycle instead and called my friend to wait for me in one place. shame.

a saturDAY!

happy birthday to my sister! hehe... it's nice to have them (sarah and ernz) again. they have been my housemates for almost a year. so basically we were once a "family". they're my sissys! =)

Brief Self-Analysis

Do you have troubles deciding between alternatives?
Generally speaking, yes. But I can resolve it in a matter of time. I just need to make the smartest decision.

Do you stand by the decisions you make?
As much as possible, I want to stand by the decisions I make. That is why before I come up with a final decision, I would have to think of it really hard. Although, there are still times when I fail to meet that wiser judgment.

What do you do when you are faced with problems?
I pray. I ask for God’s help, and then later on will attempt to solve my problem. I used to think that if I will not do something about it, the more it will become worsened. That then produces a feeling of anxiety. That is why I make it a point that I have solved that certain problem, or at least have set some plans in solving it. Only then I would be focused with my other tasks (sounds O.C.).

Do you find problems challenging?
Without a doubt, yes. Problems are made to challenge us, I guess. Ever since, I’d love problem solving (Math is one of my favourite subjects). It makes my brain works. And when I am faced with such, I tend to think that it is more of a challenge which will eventually make me better person.

Do you enjoy new situations?
Yes, but I am more at ease with the ones that I am used to, of course. But yes, I am open to new things. I want to learn more.

Do you usually finish projects you begin?
YES. That is somehow my obsession-compulsion. It’s like I feel like I am caught and there’s no way out but to finish it. Yes I know it is not healthy, but I just need to do it. And sometimes, I’d rather stay awake all night and finish everything.

Do you enjoy hard work?
I do not enjoy doing the work itself. But I find it interesting. Maybe it is the end-product that I enjoy, or the pleasure that I get from accomplishing a hard work. It boosts my self-esteem.

What kind of person are you?
I am guilty for being an obsessive-compulsive person. I am a perfectionist when it comes to my work. I want everything to be in order. Maybe because I value time so much and I don’t want it to be wasted.

I do worry about other things. I’m guilty of the phrase, “doctor-shopping”. Yes, I’m somehow a hypochondriac. Last Christmas break, I had been to AUFMC three times and to Henson’s Clinic once. I consulted an ophthalmologist to ask if I need to undergo an operation for my retinal stye, an ENT to have my ears irrigated, and a physician for Infectious Diseases to ask about the dog bite I had when I was seven.

Another unhealthy thing about me is that I used to keep what I feel inside just to avoid trouble. If I am angry, I would rather not talk. I’ll stay alone and let the feelings subside. It’s my way of coping. But if I can’t bear it anymore, I would burst out my feelings to my best friend until I feel relieved.

Do you have future plans for a career?
Yes. I want to work as an OR nurse abroad or a clinical instructor here. I also like to have a clinical experience at St. Luke’s Medical Hospital.

Do you participate in community activities?
Not anymore. I am too busy in school.

Do you listen to world news?
If I have time to watch TV, I would. But most often, I just hear from local news.

Are there things you’d like to see changed in your community?
Yes. Like having fewer incidences of crimes, or totally none.

Are there things you would do differently if you had them to do over again?
None at all, because I am satisfied with what I have now. If I try to change that, I might end up losing everything. I believe that whatever I have now is meant to be. I do not regret the things I’ve done in the past, because it is through those mistakes that I became smarter and stronger. I learned a lot from my previous experiences, and there’s nothing I would like to change in that.

How do you feel about your life?
Right now, it’s more like having a great responsibility. Being a leader is never an easy task, you have to make sure that everything is going well. But I see it now as a challenge. There’s no reason to escape from it. Wait till I get married, wait till I have kids… these will all be part of life. And to live a harmonious life, it should always come with responsibility.

What do other people think of you?
During our group session with my other classmates who have only known me for a month then, they were asked to describe me, and they all see me as an industrious person. Well, that is more of the superficial part. But if you’re going to ask my close friends about what they think of me, they would most likely answer “she is more of a friend”. And that says it all.

What do you really want to be?
As simple as a good wife and a good mother to my husband and children.

shey. xei. sey.
3 trivia about me:

me and my BIG bag

i don't know. i tried reducing the bulk of my stuffs pero wala pa rin. my friends and classmates have noticed that, and they were like, "lumayas ka?" and it makes me wonder too kung bakit laging nagmumukhang marami yung dala ko, e halos pareho lang kame ng dala ng mga classmates ko lalo na pag duty. odd occasions lang kasi ako nag-ssmall bag. actually i have three small bags inside my big bag. one for my kikay kit, one for my parafernalia, one for my writing materials. you see. i badly need a bag organizer!

warning: burping is contagious!

haha. that is just my own theory ah. uhm. actually that is one of MY biggest turn-off factor! gross noh. hehe. well that is me. sa group namen ako lang ang babaeng malakas magburp. pinipigilan ko naman, kung kaya pang habulin, i would even hide under the table just to lessen the disgusting sound. and to my OWN conclusion, it really is contagious! my friends who were annoyed by the act before are actually manifesting it now, and my groupmates as well. as in. fyi. i think i also got it from my groupmate before (hi to jasmine tanhueco). she burps louder than i do.

i'm blind

if you're standing 3 meters away from me, and waving hi. be disappointed, but i am blind as bat. =( i feel bad.bad.bad about it. anyway, if i'm goin to cry my feelings here, it would be d longest post ever. so good night bloggy. zzzZZZzzZZ

a message to my dearest friend:

forget her

forget her name
forget her face
forget her kiss
her warm embrace
forget the love that you once knew
remember she has someone new
forget her when they played your song
remember when you cried all night long
forget how close you once were
remember she has chosen to be with him
forget how you memorized her walk
forget the way she used to talk
forget the things that she used to say
remember she has gone away
forget her laugh, forget her grin
forget her dimples on her chin
forget the way she held you tight
remember she's with him tonight
forget the time that went so fast
forget the love that moved, it's past
forget she said she'll leave you never
remember she's gone forever



forget her...

believe me my friend. you have to forget her.

uncertainty.

acceptance

how would i begin this? well actually i thought of this word simply because i am fascinated by it - it moves every corner of my heart. and it really means so much to me, to you, and to everyone. it's this ten letter word that one needs to learn by heart and practice. very basic it may seem. but it is in this one word that we find ourselves jammed. it may take us long before having it, and sometimes we may never do.

it's birth goes along with multiple godly genetics: humility, forgiveness, and love... here are some points about it.

before one can have what he wants in life, he must first accept that he is but an ordinary human being. kailangan lang nating tanggapin na mangangailangan at mangangailangan tayo ng tulong. remember God did not create man alone. He knows what's beyond our capacity. hindi tayo higit ninu man. we do not have super powers to control everything. it's a way to failure i think - to believe that you can do everything. i must admit that i am somehow workaholic. but i never push myself that much. i always shout for help. although yes, it may sound contradicting to what other inspirational books say - to believe in yourself that you have the power to do everything. because for me, that conviction puts your id so up. in reality, it is not always the case. what if you really can't? if with perseverance, why not?! but pushing yourself too hard is never healthy. siguro yun nalang yung para saken: ok! do it. try hard. but never ever push yourself to the limits. rejection and failure will always be there. they happen for so many reasons... reasons that most often than not, are unfair and not justifiable. sometimes even if you did all your best, you still face negative outcomes that may be hard to accept. but you know what, i realized at least one reason why unpleasant things like these happen... you overestimated your capabilities!!! umapaw ang self-confidence. it's okay to believe and trust in yourself, hindi rin makakabuti kasi if you have very low self-esteem, but always put in mind that we are not super heroes. eh kung mga super heroes nga may side kick, tayo pa kaya? kailangan lang nating tanggapin na hindi sa lahat ng pagkakataon kaya natin. we have to accept HELP - help from others & help from Him. humility.

madalas talaga kailangan nating tanggapin na may 'mas' sa atin. we will and we shall meet people who are smarter than us, more beautiful than us, richer than us, always better than us. i've seen these people. noon akala ko matalino nako. when i was in pre-school, i was praised by my teacher that i have the best apple illustration among my classmates. and i thought i was always the best. comes our graduation ceremony, nagtataka ako bakit wala akong medal marami naman akong stars na nakukuha from my teacher. and siyempre being a 4-year old kid, hindi ko pa agad narealize na hindi ako ganun katalino gaya ng inisip ko. when i entered my new school for first year in highschool, still thinking i am smart enough, nanibago ako. maraming estudyante. but i didn't think of it as a challenge yet, akala ko makakasabay ako. then when i received my class cards for the first grading period, i was shocked and almost couldn't believe that i was seeing line of 7s... emphasis on its plural form! at dun ko nalaman at natanggap na hindi talaga ako smart. and from then on, i took it as a challenge. i strived hard in school not because i wanted to be the best. nagsumikap ako dahil natanggap ko na ang totoo. at dun nag-ugat ang aking hard work! but if i did not accept it, siguro matagal nakong bumagsak sa klase. humility.

have you ever done something in the past that made a significant pause in your world? i had. matagal bago ko napatawad ang sarili ko, ang mga tao sa nakaraan ko... it took me almost four years before i had my life back to normalcy. at dun ko narealize na 'sayang!' ang saya pala ng pakiramdam. super it changed my life. i wouldn't be this happier if i never knew how to let go. kinailangan ko lang tanggapin na there would always be someone who is better than me. matagal-tagal bago ako nag matured. i had this mentality na gusto ko akin pa rin yung mga bagay na dating akin. magulo ba? :P to make it simplier, i was selfish. pero ngayon, naiintindihan ko na. hindi ka pwedeng maging maramot pag nag-mahal. only then you would be able to free yourself. and i feel free! forgiveness. love.

acceptance.

shey shouts 'PUNTA FUEGO!'

it's oozing hot this summer! and i'm getting bored already. i have this obsession that bothers me a lot, saying i need to bring myself here: i really, really want to go to Punta Fuego in Batangas! can somebody bring me here? =P oh, maybe not now. maybe when i get filthy rich (unfortunately, this clubhouse is exclusive to members and property owners only). for now, i'll focus nalang muna in transcribing this interviews we had for our thesis which takes me [as a beginner] six hours in finishing such per 30-minute interview (argh!) - o, siyempre that includes na TV breaks.

OFF WORK

being both leaders in our thesis group had almost spoil "us". the time we spent together was cut into half and then another of it. and we barely see each other. we're the busiest lovers in town! hehe. and yeah. this is what we need. time to be away. off from work, off from thesis, off from manuscript, etc. so we chose again zambales to free our mind and make REST possible for the two of us.

and so after the 5 hour trip, i think we found our escape into a perfect place. . .

i sooo loved the island where we spent our vacation together. very idyllic place to recharge our deteriorating body. we felt very relaxed with its cozy ambiance. buti nalang pareho kaming may pagka-naturalistic intelligence :D tapos talagang both of us seemed very excited as our boat comes near the island. who wouldn't be anyway? the sand is so fine white and the water is as clear as crystal. babalik ako ulit dito, promise =)

and even though we still fight a lot, i would still choose to be with him on my next getaways! syempre <3

things i wanted to do this year

1. Go to Potipot Island
2. Cook for our family's dinner
3. Visit ney's family
4. Pass our thesis proposal [and thesis defense, of course]
5. Jog with papa
6. Ask for aiko's forgiveness
7. Go to StarCity
8. Do ice skating
9. Go to Tagaytay and see Taal lake
10. Feed atleast 3 beggars
11. Make it again to dean's list
12. Eat a well balanced diet
13. Be a vegetarian for a month
14. Say thank you to ney's parents
15. Thank auntie donna, and hopefully, can pay her back
16. Help mama wash clothes
17. Have a reunion with my elem friends (G-club)
18. Buy an expensive wrist watch for myself
19. Go back to Iba
20. Learn how to drive and get a license soon
21. Write a poem for my boyfriend
22. Hang out with my k-girls before jan leaves for good
23. Write to nasya
24. Make a perfect and tasty california maki


i thought i could name a hundred things but i ended up to 24 only. i think this is better than having a hundred disappointments c: sana mameet ko mga goals ko. i'll see and evaluate myself next year! hmmmn,