Status: RESERVED.
That God would help me become a good wife to my husband (=
One of the reasons why I opt to stay single is because I'm keeping myself RESERVED for my husband. I want him to be the happiest groom when I get to walk down that aisle. Talking about fidelity? Yes. It would be unfair for him if I give away pieces of my heart to every guy who comes along while my groom still lives in the future, completely unaware. I'm sure he wouldn't like to hear me say, "Hi, glad to finally see you. Here's a piece of my heart, uhm, it's quite broken, but-uh, that still works. Sorry I thought you were one of those - uh - jerks before." Seesh. Nah!
In as much as I pray to God to keep him safe, to mold him into a better man, to make him wait for me, blah blah blah, who am I then to present myself before him as his lawful wife - broken, messed up, incomplete? That is absurdly unfair, isn't it?
So blame it on to him why I stopped going out with a guy (even if he's a close friend of mine), why I don't let any man caress me as if I am his, why I don't spend much of my quality time with any other guy. Call it OA. Pero that's how precious he is to me. And I respect his feelings. I don't want him to feel like i-am-with "everybody's girl" when the time comes that we're finally together. You get what I mean? Like when he's hugging me or holding my hands, then some jerk guy in my past gives him a look that says "done with that".
I so love my husband. Though he still lives in the future, I let him live in my heart as early as now. I know, everything would be worth the wait (=
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