Unfolded

The day I found out I have mitral valve prolapse, I felt happy. I felt relieved. Because after years of hopping to different -ologists, I finally have an official medical diagnosis. MVP is not a serious heart problem based on what I have read and yes, based on the three cardiologists I consulted. But the effects on the autonomic nervous system are quite bothersome. There are panic attacks, anxiety, and depression, to which I never had problems dealing wih. However, fatigue, shortness of breath, frequent migraine, and palpitations are my usual signs and symptoms that I live with everyday. But there's a lot more to these.

There's this online support group for MVP patients where I found myself in tears when I read their stories. Actually, I was laughing at the same time because their stories are almost exactly mine. The unfolded mystery of my personality ever since I was a child left me speechless (and almost breathless). I grew up worrying a lot about my health. Like most patients with MVP, I am a self-confessed hypochondriac. My family knows how I overreact to simple illness. One time, feeling feverish and nauseous, I told my dad to take me to the hospital because I knew something's wrong with my system. He refused to listen and said it was all in my head. Hours later, I almost passed out. Next thing I knew, mom was packing my things. We went to the hospital and I was admitted. Diagnosis? Dengue fever. You could imagine me staring at my dad with an "I-told-you-so" look. I could go on for hours and tell you all my journey in the hospital, but to sum it up, I've been to more than 30 physicians for the past 5 years with different complaints. More than half of the tests were negative. But instead of feeling relieved, I'd go home feeling disappointed and tell myself that those doctors are either incompetent or were lucky to have me check by the time I got well already. Although I am aware of my being hypochondriac, I still refuse to believe that I'm perfectly healthy.

Prior to the diagnosis of my MVP, I sought a neurologist regarding my frequent memory loss. MRI was done and it was normal. He said I should undergo therapy with a nueropsychiatrist to prevent the development of dementia. But my therapy was interrupted by yet another test. An ECG was performed as part of my medical exam and it revealed some abnormalities so another test, 2D echocardiogram, was done which confirmed the presence of a mitral valve prolapse. A condition wherein one of the two mitral valve does not close properly as my heart pumps out blood to my body causing a backflow and/or inadequate blood circulation to other parts of my body.

Aside from the signs and symptoms mentioned above, it affects the function of autonomic nervous system. Reason why I'm a chocoholic and sweet addict. Reason why I'm perfectionist / O.C person. Reason why I have a lot of phobia. Reason why I only play mind game. Reason why I have a bit of trouble expressing negative emotions. Reason why I think I have an asthma or something because of my shortness of breath. Reason why I have a very bad memory. Reason why I always feel like I'm having a heart attack. Reason why I easily get tired, even by just merely lying down. Reason why I always feel like fainting. Reason why I always have a feeling of apprehension as if something strange might just happen. Reason why I think of death too much. Reason why I'm hypochondriac. Reason of all my unanswerable why's! Yes, these are all part of MVP syndrome based on my overly extensive and obsessive research. And I wish I knew all these long time ago. I felt vindicated knowing that there's a reason behind my seemingly-pointless-and-it's-all-in-the-mind illnesses and personality.

So to all with MVPS, cheers to a one-of -a kind and exciting fluttery life!